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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26235433">don't go anywhere</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bromota/pseuds/bromota'>bromota</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Blood, Bruises, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicidal Thoughts, Kaito angst, M/M, One Shot, Pre-Relationship, but it's saimota, i just dont want to trigger anyone, kaito is kinda pining for shuichi if you squint, kaito is sad, saimota, this isnt as bad as it sounds i swear, vent fic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 11:49:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,714</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26235433</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bromota/pseuds/bromota</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Shuichi has never been in Kaito's room before.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Momota Kaito &amp; Saihara Shuichi, Momota Kaito/Saihara Shuichi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>139</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>don't go anywhere</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>please read all the tags before reading. this contains fairly triggering subjects. stay safe! hope you enjoy.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kaito was sitting on the bed, his hands folded together in his lap. </p><p>Being completely honest, he felt rather like a child being scolded, instead of a friend being worried about. Maybe because he hated when people worried about him.</p><p>"Kaito... all of this, it's...." Shuichi had no idea how to react to the room around him.<br/>For the most part, it was a regular room; it had posters and papers and lights and anything else Shuichi could think of that would be scattered around in any other teenager's room. It was quite... messy, he admitted, with what seemed like thousands of papers scattered on the desk in the corner and making their way to the floor. Being an astronaut in training wasn't an easy job, after all, so Shuichi didn't mind the mess. </p><p>No, the thing that bothered him was the multiple dents and holes in the wall. Most about the size of a 6-foot man's fist. Specifically, Kaito's. Shuichi's heart dropped when he spotted a few dents that were much too large to have been created by a fist, but he brushed the thought away. Kaito didn't seem like the type to do things like that... </p><p>Right? </p><p>Shuichi had visited Kaito's house countless times; after all, they were best friends. But Shuichi was never allowed to go in Kaito's room. It never really bothered him all that much; Kaito's living room was just as nice to hang out or study in as any other place, and the guest room's bed in Kaito's house was very comfortable. </p><p>However, as a detective, Shuichi was curious simply by nature. All of the years of visiting Kaito's house had built up on that base of curiosity, until Shuichi wasn't able to take it anymore. The room was almost exactly as he expected it to be, minus the dents in the wall.</p><p>Instead of continuing and failing to try and say something to Kaito about it, he walked over to one of the dents and gently ran his hand over it. Closer up, the badly-cleaned stain of blood—likely Kaito's—was hard to ignore. It wasn't too big; if Shuichi hadn't approached the wall, he never would have seen it, but the fact that it was there made Shuichi more worried. </p><p>He turned to look at Kaito. Kaito hadn't moved a muscle. He was still sitting stiff on his bed, staring into his lap with an expression Shuichi couldn't completely see, let alone understand. <br/>"Kaito...?"</p><p>He didn't move, he didn't respond. He just sat there. All he did was stiffen up a bit more at hearing his name. </p><p>"Kaito." Shuichi raised his voice a bit, trying to clearly state his friend's name. Maybe Kaito hadn't heard him the first time.</p><p>Still no response. Just the tighten of Kaito's back. He could see Kaito curl into himself a bit. He walked away from the wall and over to Kaito, still keeping a bit of his distance in case it would startle or bother the taller boy.</p><p>"Kaito, please."</p><p>Shuichi hadn't expected a response. Yet, he happened to get a very small one. <br/>A small sound, something Shuichi never expected to hear out of Kaito. He wouldn't have heard it if they were anywhere except this room, just the two of them there, no other sounds to block out the pitiful noise from Kaito. Shuichi couldn't put his finger on what exactly it was. It was like a sort of whimper, Kaito's voice had cracked awkwardly in the middle of it because of his body tensing up even more. </p><p>Staring at Kaito like this was like staring at some sort of hurt stray dog. Shuichi had no clue how to react. His eyes strayed to the larger, not fist-made dents, and Shuichi gulped down his hesitation and decided to ask what he was planning to ask from the very beginning.</p><p>"C-Can I see-" <br/>He took a deep breath. <br/>"Can I see your hands, Kaito?"</p><p>Kaito stopped staring down at his intertwined hands. He looked a bit... shocked. Like a deer caught in headlights. He stared at his papers scattering the floor, thinking about what he would give to shrink as small as he possibly could and get lost under the stacks. Anything to escape this situation. He felt so vulnerable. </p><p>"I..."<br/>That whimper came out again.<br/>"I, can't do it..." <br/>His voice cracked throughout the sentence. Shuichi's eyes felt like they were burning a hole straight through him.</p><p>"Please, Kaito."<br/>No response again.<br/>"I just want to help you."</p><p>It feels like hours before Kaito pries his hands apart. Shuichi, surprised that his stubborn friend had actually listened, approached him carefully.</p><p>"So...You'll let me see?"<br/>He got a simple nod in response. Kaito slowly raised a quivering right hand and held it out to Shuichi. Shuichi paled a bit, both knowing what he was to expect and at the same time not having a clue at all. He took his hand. </p><p>Kaito's hand was something of a sad sight. It wasn't as gruesome as Shuichi would have expected, which gave him some relief, but it was still... quite a terrible thing to see. Kaito's knuckles were bruised, specifically at the middle of his hand where the bones naturally stuck out a bit more, and the dark, still-healing scabs on his knuckles were very prominent. His hand was covered in a number of scars as well; Kaito had been doing this for a long time, and it seemed to Shuichi that this room's walls weren't the only ones that had been dented by his hands. </p><p>Shuichi gently ran his own hand over Kaito's knuckles, which flinched away from the touch. A quick "Sorry." came from Shuichi, who moved his fingers to trace over the old scars instead.</p><p>"It's pretty pathetic, huh?" Kaito sighed out. "That's what you were thinking, right?"</p><p>Shuichi stopped looking down at Kaito's hand. "What? That's not it at all.." His head perked to the side in perplexion. </p><p>"Why would that be what I was thinking?"</p><p>Kaito said nothing, instead grabbing Shuichi's hand. Shuichi was surprised at just how weak Kaito's grip felt in that moment, but soon realized it just wasn't possible for it to be any other way; just this small grip must have been taxing to the bruises and scabs on Kaito's hand. Shuichi stopped Kaito from grabbing his hand. Kaito looked up at him. He looked... sort of hurt.</p><p>"I'm sorry," Shuichi's voice was quiet, as if he felt that talking louder would make Kaito break down, or shatter into a million pieces right then and there. </p><p>Kaito was already regularly volatile in his emotions; any negative emotions Kaito would show—mainly, anger—would be in small bursts or fits that he quickly regretted. Shuichi wasn't scared of making Kaito angry. He was his friend. Friends are used to each other's emotions. What Shuichi was scared of was making Kaito feel worse than he already did at that moment. Kaito would never let himself live it down if he lashed out at Shuichi at a time like this, when all Shuichi was doing is trying to care for him.</p><p>"Shuichi..."</p><p>Shuichi just stared at him. His eyes made Kaito want to disappear, to stop existing, to just curl up in a ball right there and....</p><p>Kaito didn't let himself finish that thought. He'd be damned if he found himself thinking shit like that. He can't be doing that to Shuichi. Shuichi has so much more important stuff to be worrying about. Kaito felt as if he didn't deserve to be a priority, especially not to a person as special as Shuichi.</p><p>"Shuichi, please g-get out of my room..." His tone held no real commanding, and the sentence came out as more of a question or a helpless plea. Tears pricked at the edges of Kaito's eyes. He didn't want Shuichi seeing him like this. All Kaito wanted was to be alone, to punch the wall till he bled, to hit his head against it so hard he'd see stars, the stars he loved so much.</p><p>But... something in him didn't want Shuichi to leave. He didn't want to be alone. He didn't want to dent the walls again, he didn't want to see those stars. The stars were painful. They had a menacing aura, not anything like the calming stars up in the night sky. Kaito tried convincing himself that he wanted to see those terrible stars, the ones that signaled the bruising of his head, the damaging of his skull. </p><p>But he didn't. Not really, anyway. He'd take the glittery night sky's stars over those blistering stars of pain any day. He never wanted to see the latter again.</p><p>Shuichi watched as Kaito grappled with his own thoughts. "Kaito." </p><p>That same shocked look from before rose to Kaito's face once more. His eyes were filled with tears, unblinking. He wouldn't let himself blink. He already knew what would happen when he did.</p><p>"I'm not going to leave you like this." <br/>A familiar hand on Kaito's shoulder fully snaps him into reality.</p><p>Kaito blinks, tears falling, and pulls Shuichi into a tight-gripped hug.</p><p>Shuichi is a bit taken aback, but he wraps his arms around Kaito's shuddering body. </p><p>Kaito just sobs and sobs into Shuichi's shoulder, tears pouring from his eyes with no signs of stopping. Shuichi feels the wetness soak through the fabric of his clothes. It doesn't bother him.</p><p>"P-pl-please d-don't go, Shuichi..." He barely gets the words out correctly, his voice quivering without end as he continued to sob and gasp for breath. This was one of the things Kaito hated about crying—it was so hard to breathe. Kaito holds Shuichi tight, as if he might suddenly disappear from his hands the second he opens his eyes. </p><p>A hand raises to the back of Kaito's head, pushing him further into Shuichi's shoulder, stroking the hair at the back of his head. Kaito freezes despite the sobbing, the tears, the whimpering. </p><p>"I'm not going anywhere."</p><p>Kaito's sobs slowed just a little bit. His body wasn't as tense anymore. He was sniffling, but... Shuichi was calming him down. </p><p>Kaito wanted nothing more than to sit there, holding him, crying onto his shoulder, forever.</p><p>"So please don't go anywhere either, Kaito."</p>
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